We woke up to a beautiful world, fresh with powdery snow. And ended up walking in a big ol’ pile of slush! It was cold and grey, the sun hidden behind thick clouds and a bitter wind. By the time we went for our walk, things were already starting to thaw and melt. My poor shoes, which once were waterproof, soaked up every puddle we walked through. Well, Wee Daftie went through them, I tried to avoid them with varied success.
Slush, slush, slushy slush
Fortunately, Wee Daftie wanted to head back down to the weir, which meant we had shelter from the wind along the paths. It didn’t get any brighter during our walk, but the respite from the cutting breeze was very welcome.
We saw some people swimming again this morning. Brave souls. I was desperate to hide from the cold and here were maybe a score of folk embracing it. We like walking in all weathers, not sure I’m at that level just yet!
Wind swept and still posing!
Today was one of those days where I wished I had a continuous recording device for her. Honestly, her chat was outstanding while we walked. Telling stories of monsters, her many pets (Puffy the kitten, Alfonso and Rocco the puppies), chatting about the birds we saw, the ones she wanted to see, her favorite food (pizza and sausages, not necessarily together), tales of her primary school and friends. It was a never ending stream and so magical.
Playing detective with tracks in the snow.
We made it home in time for lunch, with our goal reached, and for me to volunteer with the Lothian Breastfeeding Buddies again. My girl was brilliant for the hour I needed to concentrate and essentially ignore her. She chimed in a couple of times – “Mammy? What does pumping mean?!” – but was very happy to let me do my thing. Superstar.
In case you’re wondering, I did answer her question, just not immediately after she asked!
So beautiful, even with all the grey.
Another good day to mark the end of three weeks of walking. Just over one more to go. How brilliant! We have a fun walk planned tomorrow with Auntie Numbnuts, which Wee Daftie is really looking forward to. And I suppose I am too!
It’s raining, it’s pouring, Daddy Daftie is snoring!
Our day started oddly. Poor Wee Daftie woke up with a nosebleed at about midnight. She wandered through, asked to get cleaned up and then climbed into our bed. I went to put her sheets into the wash and returned to find her almost asleep, taking up my full side of the bed. Minor inconvenience. It’s okay, she’s cute.
What wasn’t so cute is how she kept me awake for pretty much the rest of the night. Now, most of the time, she sleeps really well in our bed. Other times, like last night, is how I imagine an octopus in a washing machine to be.
Definitely not this cute at 4am!
With a later start, after we both finally fell properly asleep, we headed for a walk in the rain. We took a well walked route to spot “unusual and interesting” things. Her nursery have been sending suggested activities to do and one of today’s was to take photos of interesting things. It was cool to look at our usual route through new eyes and spot what might be interesting to someone else. We used trying to see things we’d want to show Nana and Papa(p) as our inspiration.
The first thing she thought was interesting was a crack in the pavement. Well. It’s something.
And yes, I sent this photo to her nursery.
We also took photos of a statue, a wooden reindeer, a cool spiderweb and some trees. We also saw a water rat beside the duck pond but didn’t get a proper photo, just a memory one. We sometimes take imaginary photos which I call memory pictures. Pretty sure I stole the idea from Jim and Pam’s wedding in the American version of the Office. But it’s fun to use our imaginations instead of technology sometimes.
Drawing with Anna and Elsa, not drawing on them 😀
Despite our efforts this morning, I still had some steps to do after bedtime. In the sleet. But it was actually really nice, even if I was slightly soggy by the time I made it home.
Target hit, sneaking ever closer to £500, which is wonderful! Another damp day ahead of us tomorrow but we’re hardy, stubborn and determined to do the very best we can for Refuge so what’s a bit of rain between Dafties?
Bonus! Speaking about imagery photos, I wrote this a while ago. Enjoy!
My favourite things My favourite photos are the ones I don’t take. Like first thing in the morning when you’re barely awake Calling for Mammy in your bed, upside down, With hair like Wurzel or Bobo the Clown. Or when you run through the house before bath Little legs pumping, curls bouncing, heart bursting laugh Searching out the mirror, not needing to go far, To stretch your arms wide and holler a gleeful, “Ta DAH!” Or sitting on the living room floor, surrounded, By trains and Duplo, dinos and books, drums to be pounded, Making up stories, adventures and games Taking care the engines, giving them names. Or sitting on the sofa, curled up with a book Thumb wedged in your mouth, giving me a look At my silly voices and strange sound effects Finishing one story and quickly on to the next.
My favourite films aren’t shown on TV They tend to be seen when it’s just you and me Spinning in circles, throwing our shapes on the floor, Dancing to our favourite music, asking for more. Or the times on the bus when you just want to chatter To all passengers and commuters, it doesn’t matter, As long as they listen and join in, to talk, Before we get off the bus and go for a walk. Or the days when it’s dark, gloomy, slick with the damp And head out for an adventure, braving the elements like a champ Wellies on our feet, raincoats on, soaked to the skin Jumping through the puddles with the world’s biggest grin.
My favourite memories are the ones I forget It will be the same for you, I bet. In every day that passes, as time slides on Precious minutes pop up and then, simply, they’re gone. The times when we do nothing, just take in the day Lying in the grass, with nothing to say Doing the mundane, the dishes, the washing Chopping veggies, making brekkie, on the school run we’re dashing – These moments are my favourites but they don’t stand out or last. They seem pointless, boring, unexceptional and they quickly fly past. But they are my favourite, getting lost in daily clatter; The small moments, the lost moments, the inconsequential matter. We need the small things to appreciate the big, the monumental, And it’s these small fragments of life that make me sentimental.
Today was a day for walking, talking and making buddies.
We had plans to meet friends in a park for run around and a catch up. The park we were meeting at isn’t very close to us so I used this as an incentive to get a good bulk of our steps in. We decided to walk there, run about, bus home and see where we were, steps wise, later on.
New adventure, same Adventure Backpack.
On our way, Wee Daftie’s backpack was complimented by a very nice man and the two of them ended up having a brilliant, socially distant, chat about dinosaurs and keeping the world tidy, as we walked along. I usually don’t condone three people walking the width of one path but I appreciated the need for space as well as the need for connection.
It’s hard at the moment when you’re as social as my Wee Daftie. She can’t see her friends how she’d like to, she can’t go to nursery, she can’t have family over, we can’t fly to see family. She does really like me and her Dad but I definitely think she gets a bit sick of us. As hilarious as I am, I just don’t have the same way of playing as her other 4 year old pals. Just sitting and listening to her and her pals chat, I can’t compete with that! And, don’t worry, I don’t try!
Peekaboo!
We had one bump today when Wee Daftie made a pal in the park. As easy as it can be for kids this age to make friends – “Want to be friends?” “Sure!” – the fall out can be just as quick.
Wee Daftie had been running about with her new pal, having a ball, when suddenly I heard, “You’re not my friend! Go away!”
And my girl looking very confused and teary.
Flying Daftie
After we had a chat about it, not really getting anywhere because who can decipher an upset 4 year old, Wee Daftie decided she wanted to go and try to sort things out with her buddy.
Brave, and hopeful, she went over to say sorry and patch things up. Unfortunately, kids will be kids, and her now former friend, dug her heels in and didn’t want to hear it. My poor girl. But I was so proud of her. It was a sucky situation. And she was sad for a while after. Knowing she wanted to try and do right, by trying to make amends, is so heartwarming and makes me feel like I might be doing okay by her.
I really hope she remembers the good friend she made today, along the path, and not the one who told her to go away.
Heading home
We reached our step target by the time we made it home, which was excellent.
The weather looks…interesting…in the coming days so we may need to get creative. I wonder how many laps it is around the kitchen table?
Thanks again for all the support. It’s utterly wonderful how the fundraising has just grown and grown. 12 days to go!
Sundays are often lie-in days for me so our walking didn’t start til after lunchtime today. I say lie-in, I still get woken by a daft 4 year old earlier than i would like but Daddy Daftie gets up with her so I don’t have to. And today, he even brought me a cup of tea! What a spoiled Mammy I am.
Wee Daftie got some (very cheap and plastic but very treasured) jewellery and some wooden beads for making bracelets for Christmas but we realised we didn’t have anywhere to put it. Daddy Daftie had the clever idea of repurposing a wooden box that once held Turkish Delight.
Together, armed with paint, glitter, sequins and lots (LOTS) of glue, they created a gem of a jewellery box. She was very proud of her hard work and I think it’s just beautiful.
Jewellery box, sitting on top of bedtime reading.
After lunch, we had a biggish walk, over towards Craigleith where Daddy Daftie met us to do some grocery shopping.
The paths we took are still part of the walking/cycle paths that are linked and cross all over Edinburgh. The way we went today, we don’t walk all that frequently and they’re not as pretty as the ones by the water. There is still plenty to see, lots of dogs to look at as we pass by and walkers for Wee Daftie to wave at.
She loved walking over the road bridge
We manged a very respectable 6,000 or so steps by the time we reached the shops…and then about another 1,500 getting the shopping done!
I’m glad this is still here. I’m sad that it’s needed.
I finished off the steps after putting Wee Daftie to bed. I took a usual route but stopped to take a little picture of the statue Wee Daftie likes to say hello to whenever we pass. She likes to pat the dog, chat to the boy and coo over the baby. Such a social little thing, she even makes friends with people cast in metal. What a gal.
Another good day. Another day closer to the end of our challenge month. Only two weeks left, which is bonkers.
All the support before has been amazing. And I am thrilled by how well it’s all been going. I can only hope the next fortnight is as good as the days previous!
“Which one?” (We don’t have waterfalls nearby but there are two weirs)
“The big one.”
“At the pretty village?”
“Yeah! No. No no no no no. The other one. The really loud one.” (They’re both pretty loud.)
“At the muddy wood?”
“No. No no no no. Yeah! That one!”
So, after that very helpful conversation, I decided I would take a gamble on where we walk to today. I like to involve Wee Daftie in some decision making. It’s not always straightforward and sometimes takes quite a lot of creativity to make her suggestions fit into real life but I’d still rather give her some freedom of choice.
Outfit choice of the day.
We walked along the same paths we often do, trying to find some new things to see and talk about. Today was a day for nature.
I’m no expert but I did read a lot of Farthing Wood Friends as a kid, I have an great memory for odd details and I like to learn. Whenever Wee Daftie asks a question, I try to give her comprehensive answers. I don’t always know the answers, of course I don’t. I am the first to admit I know nothing but I make a point to find out. We have books, we have the Internet, I have a fab app called Seek. I don’t always know the answers, but I definitely try to find out!
I don’t need a reference book to tell me what this beautiful thing is.
The weather was gorgeous for walking. Chilly, bright and dry. It has been raining overnight so the grass was a squishy mess. Decked out in warm, comfortable gear and wellies, we headed off for an adventure. Adventure Backpack came with us, of course.
It was a day of spotting unusual things right from the start. The rainbow being the first. Living by the water, we see plenty of seabirds on the daily. Oystercatchers, gulls, sandpipers and a big ol’ cormorant all live along the pier beside us. Even though we see these things often, it’s slightly unusual to see a sandpiper hopping along the muddy grass, poking about for grubs. They more often seen, y’know, on sand.
We learnt today this called a turkey tail fungi! Oddly beautiful, beautifully odd
After all the rain later, the water was really high and thundered over the weir. There are normally some ducks that stay down here but the currents were so strong that they had all cleared out. Or maybe even been cleared out by the fast-flowing water. Either way, not a duck in sight.
Muddy and marvellous
We then rambled on up to St Mark’s Park for an exploration of the woody bit there. It’s not really big enough to be called a wood but it is fun to wander through, duck under the low branches and investigate the area. It was here we saw the fungi and also where Wee Daftie took a small tumble over a root. She was so brave, dusted herself off (ie smeared mud from her hands onto her leggings) and was determined to keep going. Which was great that we did as we ended up having a brilliant walk, spotting loads of amazing bits of nature to talk about.
In her natural habitat, covered in mud
By the time we made it home, we surpassed our step target for the day and taken note of oystercatchers and curlews in a rugby pitch, a cormorant in a fresh water pond, a heron, ducks, swans, gulls, tufted ducks, moorhens, coots, so many robins and lots and lots of mud. Totally spoiled to live in an area with so much natural beauty to see and learn about. I love how excited she still gets when we see a bird or find out the name of a plant or see the same patch of grass we always walk over. I really want to nurture this as long as possible and these walks are definitely helping. So proud of my Wee Daftie.
Future naturalist, off on another adventure
We made it home in time for lunch and an afternoon of drawing, reading, a film and hanging out with Daddy Daftie. Not a bad Saturday at all.
I don’t really have much to say today about today. It was a lovely day. We met some friends at the Botanic Gardens for a wander, we saw a kingfisher, we did some baking, we made pizza for dinner, Daddy Daftie came home and Wee Daftie spent a lot of her day dressed as Flash Girl. Really good day. Achieved our step goal. Got some chores done. All very good, but nothing hugely out of the ordinary.
Not out of the ordinary in this household!
So why not take today to highlight why I chose Refuge as my charity of choice to support this year.
Refuge do amazing work to support and give hope to women in abusive relationships. This is fact. They have helplines, text services, advocates, actual refuges for emergency temporary accommodation and outreach, just to name a few of their resources. They do a huge amount of work to support and empower women, as well as to protect them and any children involved.
The heartbreaking fact is that they have been in higher demand during these months of lockdown. The figures on domestic abuse are just horrific at the moment and it just struck a chord with me that I might be able to do something, even something tiny, to help.
I feel like I’m rambling a bit but I’m trying to find the correct words. I have never used Refuge but I have been in a position where I might have. When I was younger, I was in a very difficult relationship. Yes, it was abusive. Yes, there was an episode of violence. Yes, it was without a doubt the hardest thing I have been through. Was it always awful? No. Was I miserable? Not every day. Was I happy? Not always.
I don’t want to go back through the whole history. It doesn’t feel relevant to where I am or who I am now but I do want to talk about why a charity that helps women is important to me.
I was 19 and working in my first job in Edinburgh when I met Joe. This is what I am choosing to call him. It is a very niche joke on my part but it fits. Looking back, I still don’t see the things in him that hurt me so much by the end of our relationship. I don’t think I’m looking back with rose tinted glasses. I don’t think he was hiding anything, necessarily, and I definitely wouldn’t dare to suggest that I was the catalyst in any changes in his behaviour. I do think, however, that our relationship shone a huge light on his own insecurities and he didn’t know how to deal with them.
He was very jealous person. At first, it wasn’t over me. It was just a general envy of people and him feeling that he never had enough. A lot of this stemmed from his own childhood and struggles; never having enough in his life but also never being enough. And, honestly, often this jealous streak almost felt flattering. A strange kind of protective arm holding me back from others.
The longer we were together, the tighter the arm got. The more people I met, through work, uni, nights out, the more he pulled me back.
He would never say, “I don’t like your friends.” But when I spoke about anyone he either tuned out or had negative things to say. So I stopped talking about them.
He never told me he didn’t like the way I dressed, but he did say, “Oh you shouldn’t wear flat shoes with that skirt, it makes your legs look short.” So I stopped wearing flat shoes with dresses and skirts.
He never said he didn’t love me but he did say, “If I really thought I could trust you, we would be married by now.” So I stopped trusting myself.
We were together for 3.5 years and I have intensely happy memories from that time. He was my best friend. He knew my family. We had the same friends. We had holidays together. We shared a home. And during that time, his avarice took over and he just didn’t want to share me anymore.
He was only violent twice. I used the word only loosely. The first time it happened, he apologised and swore it would never happen again. Only it did, and much worse, less than a month later. It shouldn’t have taken such an extreme for me know I had to leave but, unfortunately, it did.
My story isn’t unique. Which makes the work of Refuge so important and valuable. It’s so sad that there is a need for Refuge but I am thankful that they are there. I didn’t need them. I had an amazing support system and I found my way out. It’s not easy to leave. It can be so, so hard to leave. And it’s really difficult to explain why.
Sally from the TV show Barry does a pretty good job, in my opinion. “I stay for the apology.” It’s not always fear that prevents you from leaving, it can also be the faith, trust, in an apology that gets you to stay.
That’s my story, but it doesn’t define me. It broke me but it also made me stronger. It, in a very odd way, brought me and Daddy Daftie together some 9 years ago.
I don’t know how to end this post so I’m just going to say thank you to Refuge for the work they do. Thank you to my incredible friends and family for being there for me when I really did feel very alone. There are a handful of people who had a profound effect on me during that time, and after, who I hope know how much they mean to me. And huge thank you to Daddy Daftie for putting up with and dealing with me and all my broken parts.
Finally, thank you to everyone who has donated. It is outstanding and I am filled with pride and joy at the change we are able to bring.
This will be a short update as I am sleeeeeeepy tonight. Maybe it’s all the walking. Maybe it’s the grey and dreich weather. Maybe it’s the infamous Head Tapper waking me up in the morning. Maybe it’s just because it’s January. Who knows?
Who has time to be tired when you have endless energy?
When I was putting Wee Daftie to bed last night, she asked if we could go to the beach in the morning. Now. We Daft Ladies might be adventurous and hardy but a beach trip in Edinburgh, in the middle of January, seems like a crazy notion, even to me. It felt even more insane when I woke up to thundering rain outside the bedroom window.
But, we are women of honour, and Refuge is extremely important to me, so off we went. After brekkie, we donned some wet gear and headed out.
What an arm on this girl!
I had to talk her out of bringing her bucket and spade (I wish I was kidding) but we did throw lots of stones, drew pictures in the sand, buried some “treasure” and were treated to a visit from a seal. He ducked and dived through the water, close enough to know what it was but not close enough to take a decent picture. That didn’t matter though as we just enjoyed watching him swim about. Some of the best photos are the ones we don’t take.
We also saw a heron!
After lunch, we met a friend of Wee Daftie’s from nursery for some very damp playground fun. I know I have mentioned previously that we’ve arrived home from a day out soaking wet but I do think today’s was the wettest she’s been. It was a case of straight out of her Zog splash suit and immediately into a bath!
Another good day, even under all the grey clouds. We had some fun, we saw some wildlife, we met some friends and we hit our target and then some. Slower and wetter than other days but still a huge success.
We’re at an unbelievable £450 raised and we still have more do it. Amazing. It all adds up and it all makes a big difference.
Our days of late have been busy in the morning, quiet in the afternoon. Today flipped the script a bit as I was volunteering again with the Lothian Breastfeeding Buddies and had to be online from 10.30am til 11.30am (or thereabouts). It was a slow and gentle start to the day, after I was woken up at about 6.30am by a small human tapping me on the head.
Looks so innocent, the wee head tapper.
I was a bit apprehensive to be online with Wee Daftie floating around behind me. She’s a great kid and sometimes loves playing by herself. She is, however, also a 4 year old who is really social, loves babies and definitely thinks that my pals are her pals. I love volunteering, the sessions are precious and I like to give the mums my full attention. I also like to give Wee Daftie my full attention so it’s hard to balance the two. I usually do my peer support when she’s at nursery but, times being what they are, I need to work out a way to do both successfully.
And today, I think, was okay. She was able to chat and say hello but she also had fun playing with her cars and drawing when I needed to concentrate. Wee star.
She also drew Arthur’s Seat. And a flower.
After lunch, we made our walking plan. As it’s winter and dark earlier in the evening, we’ve had a couple of walks where we’ve brought torches with us. Mainly out of necessity, but also for the fun. So we left later than we usually would, took some torches and headed out in search of somewhere to shine them.
Searching for ducks in the dark.
The other day, my Dad innocently asked if we still went out walking in the rain. “Oh yeah,” says I. “Come rain or hail, clouds or sun, off we go!” Foolish me didn’t realise that my throwaway comment was basically a premonition. I opened the front door and out we stepped into hail. Not massive, awful ones but hail nonetheless.
Soggy feet on soggy ground
We had such fun. It was really great. There is something really refreshing and freeing about embracing the elements, leaning into them and not letting the wet dampen anything more then our shoes. We were sodden and smiling by the time we exceeded our target today.
I received a parcel of books from my sister and she included this gorgeous card. It is definitely something that speaks to me. I’m generally not into motivational quotes but the card is very special and it feels very relevant in this current climate. And not just because we are literally dancing in the rain some times.
All of this.
I try to live joyfully, I try to keep positive and I always try to dance in the rain.
We had plans to meet friends this morning for a scoot and a walk along Crammond. That was what we planned. What I didn’t expect was for Wee Daftie to want to keep walking well after our friends went home.
For over an hour.
I love her energy but even I was surprised when she said she wanted to keep going! 13,000 steps clocked up by 1pm! Amazing. What a kid.
Still going, hours later!
It was an amazingly bright and glorious day. The kind of day you don’t really believe is real. It was freezing, the grass was beautifully dappled with frost. Everything crunched underfoot and Wee Daftie was in her element cracking the glass like puddles.
The scooting didn’t last long but the kids still had a blast running about together and being bonkers. 4 year old friendships are precious. Sure they can get a bit emotional sometimes but it’s just such a pure joy.
And quite screechy at times.
We made it home for lunch, very much later than anticipated thanks to her determination to just keep on going. We had an afternoon of creating and being creative. We made some healthy plum muffins, did some drawing, listened to some music and coloured in a dinosaur.
Told ya.
The dino was a Christmas present and it came in a bag with coloured pens. Now. I kind of assumed, incorrectly, that it would be cotton or linen or some kind of soft material. It’s not. It’s a really weird papery texture but the markers worked well, dried nicely and now Wee Daftie’s brachiosaurus Frederick has a spotty pal called Belle.
I didn’t end up writing a post yesterday as my head just wasn’t in it. Not sure why, possibly a million reasons, maybe none. Suffice to say, I walked up a storm with one of my oldest friends…who happens to be one of my favourite people. But don’t tell her that.
There she is! You can just about see her backpack in the distance. Is she trying to tell me something?
We walked the length of the Water of Leith, starting at the Shore and ending up in Balerno. We met at 9.30am, stopped for lunch at about noon and finished our walk by about 3pm. We have done this walk before, in September 2020, but the walk yesterday was a whole different challenge thanks to ice. Lots and lots of ice.
I only fell once.
The last 2-3 miles was genuinely like this. We embraced it and discovered I am bad at walking on ice.
Super proud of our efforts and returned home to discover that not only had we SMASHED it out of the park, steps wise, but the fundraising total has increased! How brilliant is that? The more money raised, the more women we can help.
What a difference a day makes. Not a spit of snow or ice to be seen.
I wasn’t going to rest on my laurels after yesterday’s epic efforts. Not a bit of it. Daddy Daftie is away so I need to make sure that we get a big bulk of the walking done before Wee Daftie’s bedtime. I am happy to pace my kitchen to get the target met but it’s not as much fun as being out adventuring with my little walking bud.
As any adventurer knows, you need your backpack, wellies…and Nerf bow.
The morning was grey but warm, damp and windless. We got ourselves organised and had a lovely looped walk, via a small stop to buy broccoli, arriving home in time for lunch, just shy of our 10,000 step target. Like 600 steps off. Can’t be mad at that. The rest of the steps ticked over during the course of the day, with my watch buzzing to let me know we had reached the goal just after lunch.
Our reward for getting our steps done; a jammie day!
We have more fun planned over the next few days but nothing as crazy or intense. Yet. Still have 20 days left to go! Who knows where we’ll end up?
We are now over £400 which is insane, brilliant, astounding, delightful, appreciated and such a blessing. I am beyond words. For once.
Travels With My Daftie 