Day 989

I am very tired today. Not physically, more emotionally. I had a hideous night’s sleep last night and have been struggling to shake it off. (Cue the Taylor Swift music) I am historically a dreadful sleeper. Just ask my own Mammy. I generally bounce back and manage to keep things focused on the job in hand but today? Things just felt a bit out of sync.

Even this face only helped a bit today. It definitely helped but not as much as I hoped.

Of course I expected being a Mammy to be tiring. Naturally, I knew I would lose a lot of things like sleep, privacy, alone time whenever I wanted, after she was born and I took on the full-time, full on role, of Co-Head Daftie Wrangler with Daddy Daftie as my co-wrangler. Sometimes though it does feel like a bit of a pressure cooker.

I guess that seems like a rough analogy but pressure cookers are great, and the end result is yummy, it just can get pretty intense at times.

Boxed Daftie. A bit like boxed wine, just less classy.

Now, add to the mix that Wee Daftie is now a fully fledged toddler. She is clever, she is sassy, she is funny, she is stubborn, she is my mini-me and she is also currently enjoying a phase of intentionally not listening. Which is joyous. Or not so much.

On days when I am fully stocked with energy, patience, and confidence in our little team, I can handle anything. Other days, when pesky things like exhaustion and doubt linger, I am less capable. I manage, but I don’t like it and I definitely feel shorter on my even temper.

Moody tunnel on the way to the park.

Every fiber in my body knows she isn’t trying to wind me up or upset me when she is in a ignoring mood, she’s just being a small irrational human, with their small irrational human ways. We just kept bumping heads today. Not physically, thankfully, seeing as her head is massive. I totally know I should have been more patient but I also couldn’t find it.

Pancakes for breakfast, a very Monday thing to do.

We had a fun time over breakfast, less fun getting ready to go out. We had fun at the park, less so leaving and on the journey home. We had no fun over lunch but a lovely book reading session after. A day of peaks and troughs.

I made a decision before dinner to try and be more patient and understanding, because I didn’t want to end the day poorly. And what are the two things that bring people together? Food and music. And what are my two favourite things in the world (outside of the Daft Family Household) food and music. I turned on one of our favourite playlists, 90s rock, plonked her on the counter top and we prepped our veggies and sausages for dinner together. Perfect. My tired bones and listless spirit were infinitely lifted as we chopped, sprinkled and mixed together.

My sister shared this over the family WhatsApp today. It is beautiful and oh so fitting.

We got most of our steps done in the morning but I had to finish them off with Leslie Sansone after bedtime. So the day ended much better than I hoped earlier on!

Tomorrow is another day. I am praying for a better night’s rest tonight. Wee Daftie, and Cancer Research, deserve me at my best.

https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/dafties-walking-over-cancer