Day 985

Friends! Not the TV show, those real life creatures that are so useful for helping us get through stuff. Y’know, like life.

Friends. Great for playing hide and seek with.

I have gained a new appreciation for my pals since having Wee Daftie. Not just the old ones or the new ones or the fleeting ones but all of them. And it’s not that a didn’t appreciate them before, of course I did, but it does feel like a different kind of respect and love for them these days.

The best pals give the best cuggers.

Let’s start with the Pre-Daftie Pals. Some of these folk I have known a long time. A looooong time. Some well over ten years and some since I was a wide-eyed and naive teenager, first living away from home. We’ve all moved around, some have even moved away and then back again, but we’ve never really lost touch.

Which is amazing because I realise now how much I need them. Even if we don’t share the same postcode anymore and our (my) social life has drastically changed, I get such strength knowing they are just a phone call or message away. Why? They keep me connected to who I was before having Wee Daftie. I was Calli before I was Mammy and I can only be the best Mammy for Daftie when I am the best version of myself I can be.

Friends help us learn!

I will swear blind that I haven’t changed. But of course I have. I don’t think necessarily all that much but I am different – and I hope in a good way. These guys and gals know me from top to toe and aren’t afraid to talk me down from high horses or up from low valleys.

The other brilliant thing about them knowing me before Daftie means that they will always have plenty of stories to tell her about me as she grows. Even if they involve me falling over my own feet. Which happens more than I care to admit to.

Geese friends we saw today!

Now, my Mammy Mates. From the couples we met through our antenatal course with NCT to those I met through baby classes, I have met a lot of Mammies and their littlies in the past couple of years. Some Daddies too, but mainly Mammies. I haven’t stayed close with everyone, naturally, but I have met some absolutely cracking friends. I honestly never expected that. Sure, I figured I would meet people to have playdates and coffees with while we try and coax interaction from the Small Humans but actual people that I actually like? Nah.

Why are these friends so important? It is so valuable to have people going through similar things as me and my little family. On a practical level as well as on an emotion one. From recipes swaps, baby product advice, potty training chat, nappy chat, feeding advice to having a totally understanding ear when you admit that you just want to hide on your toddler for a while where she can’t find you, I love having a tribe of gals with different points of view who just get it as they are going through it right now too.

Friends are great for mealtimes.

Next, my family. For the longest time, my Mammy, my Daddy and my sisters have been some of my closest friends and will always be my favourite people. No one knows me quite like how they know me. No one is able to bring perfect, specific-to-me advice in the same way my family can.

Why are they especially important now? Having people know me as a child genuinely helps me to try and understand Wee Daftie. Anytime my Mammy or one of my sisters say, “Now who does that remind me of?!” when I tell a silly story about how stubborn she is or how contrary, it helps me to take a moment to see things from where Wee Daftie is coming from. To be reminded that she is a mini version of me, good and bad, hilarious and annoying. It doesn’t solve anything but I know what it was like to be small and misunderstood so maybe I should cut her some slack.

Sometimes.

Friends help us celebrate the good stuff.

And, finally, the most important one of all; my Big Human, Daddy Daftie.

(He may disown me after he reads this post)

For as long as we have known each other, we have been pals. And for as long as I can remember, he has been my best buddy. And why is this important to me? To be a good team for Wee Daftie, we need to be friends. We need to be able to talk about everything, good and bad, to find the best path for our Daft Family Household. And for me, I need my best friend to tell me when I’m being unreasonable, to rest when I’m pushing too hard or that I’m doing okay when I don’t feel it.

I am so thankful to be raising my little idiot with my best friend. And I don’t take it for granted.

Daft Buddies walking. I hope she’ll still want to be friends when she’s older.

Back to today, met up with my Mammy Mates for a play and chat, followed by a big walk home, via a duck pond where we saw some geese! So a geese pond?

Steps finished off in the house in the afternoon dancing around the kitchen. Only ten days to go! Amazing.

And thank you for being a friend.

https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/dafties-walking-over-cancer