We’re all guilty of being a bit judgemental at times. Usually quite innocent or seemingly harmless. Spying on our fellow pedestrians and thinking “Ooh that’s too much make-up”, “I wouldn’t wear those trousers!”, “Who drinks Irn Bru for breakfast?!” A tiny, fleeting thought that we instantly forget and go about our day, entirely forgetting the badly drawn on eyebrows or the weird sandwich choice at lunch.
I think the strangest and most startling thing I discovered about becoming a mum is that on one hand, you’re invited into this lovely sorority of motherhood. You’re suddenly surrounded by a wealth of information and knowledge and experience all for the taking. On the other hand, you can also find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of judgment.
Disclaimer. I am beyond blessed. My Mammy Mates are amazing. They are smart, funny, loving, embracing, different but most importantly supportive. Not one of us is on the same baby journey. We all have tiny little humans to try to keep alive and a plethora of different ways to do it. And we do. Sure, we share tips and tricks but I know baby wearers, baby-led, spoon fed, co-sleepers, breastfeeders, bottle feeders, early weaners, late weaners, alpha mummies, tiger moms, hippy mammies, yummy mummies, slummy mummies (card carrying one right here).
It literally, figuratively, realistically, honestly does not matter. Has your baby recently been fed? Washed? Clothed? Slept? Had a bit of a cuddle? Boom. Job done.
What I have been noticing though is that through the media, social or otherwise, people have a lot of opinions about the “right” way to do things.
Personally, I follow the guidelines set by WHO and the NHS for general “this information will help you keep your small human alive” but the methods I apply tend to be things I’ve handpicked from the reading I’ve done.
Of course we all want to do the best we can do. Of course we want to feel like the decisions we make are the right ones. And of course there is lots of expert advice out there so it can be confusing.
My favourite bit of advice I was given when I was pregnant was to read everything I could and ignore the stuff I didn’t like.
Naturally, if someone asks how we feed Wee Daftie or what her bedtime routine is I’ll always answer honestly about what we do and why we do it. And if any one of my Mammy Mates want advice, I will do everything I can to help and support. But never judge.
What works for us, may not work for anyone else. People frequently say “every baby is different” which is so, so true. What is just as true is this every parent is different. And I think that’s the bit we need to remember.
Travels With My Daftie 